Why Avoid Assumptions?

Week 3 in Seeing Good at Work encourages us to avoid assumptions, so maybe it is a good idea to examine even that assumption – why exactly is it good to avoid assumptions? After all, it seems like we navigate much of our life by bringing into new situations information that we have gained from previous experience in similar situations.

The difficulty arises when we apply to a new situation ideas that aren’t actually appropriate to it. This is particularly tricky for interpersonal relationships. For example, recently a close friend asked me whether I was attending an event. I mentally jumped to the conclusion that he was asking me for the same reason as in a similar situation a couple of months ago, and began making suggestions about his concerns. He somewhat quickly interrupted me to let me know these were not his current concerns, and I realized I had made the mistake of not truly listening to him in the first place.

This incident suggests to me the need for a repertoire of polite phrases to test my assumptions – phrases like, “Is my understanding correct that …. ?” or “Are you wanting to know if … ?” My hope is that these kinds of phrases will not only test the accuracy of my understanding, but will also allow the other person to know that they are being truly heard.



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